One saving his or her marriage from total destruction is like the owner of a house who notices the house is in a poor condition, which might lead to total collapse. And he or she decided to renovate it and give it a new look.There are four key elements that you can apply to save your turbulent marriage;Make a ResolutionSit down talk to yourself, by yourself, with yourself alongside your partner by agreeing to work together so as to have peace and tranquility into your home.Also,make a short list of decisions of what you will love to change,discard,re-introduce or re-institute into your marriage that will make it enjoyable for both of you.Identify the Problematic issueSpell out what you think have been working in-between you and your partner. Take inventory of how things began to fall-part between two of you. And list the factors that always leads to crisis in your marriage, like; argument, bad speech, unfaithful, infidelity etc. And begin to work on those things with the help of your spouse.Set a goalA man or woman without aim and objection in life is like a lost one year old toddler in the park, who does not know where is from or where is heading to. So, it is, for any couple that does not have a goal setting in their marriage. You must be able to identify, visualize and envisage where you want your marriage to be in the next 3-6month, 6-1year etc. Also, ask yourself what improvement would you like to see in your marriage? What level of fulfillment would you want your marriage to attain? Etc.
Remember, when you have a clear understanding as to what you need in your marriage, your goal will be easier to attain and you will be better for it.Seek for Godly counselSeeking Godly counsel is by going for heart-to-heart talk with people that are honest, experienced in what you passing through presently. They could be your grandparent, your pastor, marriage counselor, marriage forums, seminars, workshops etc.Please, don’t go and seek advice from anybody that does have single idea of what you are going through. Because they may not see what you are seeing concerning your marital future.Lastly,search the holy scripture “Bible” for what God is saying concerning the situation of your marriage with the help of the holy spirit for divine direction and intervention.
By making proper use of all the above write-up and with your fervent prayers. Am sure you will succeed in your quest of having a marital bliss in the end.
How TO Salvage Your Marriage From Impending Collapse
How to Know When a Marriage Needs Intervention
There is no shortage of statistical data which show the failure rates of relationships, especially marriages, in today’s world. I remember, at one time, the divorce rate in America was something like 50%. Now, I’m sure the percentage has reached an uncontrollable level.
Certainly there are number of indicators that a marriage isn’t going to last, at least without immediate intervention such as counseling by a trusted marriage counselor, religious leader, or professional therapist. It becomes necessary to seek a third party, or mediator, to help the two of you to openly discuss the issues you are having in the marriage and help to sort them out patiently, without shouting or outbursts of anger.
Either person in the relationship will realize that things have taken a wrong turn when there is a breakdown in trust, respect, and/or communication. In cases of lagging trust, insecurity builds up and the member who no longer trusts usually begins making assumptions to try to understand the other’s behavior. Assumptions lead to accusations and what follows are seriously hurtful arguments. Before you know it, there are tearful moments of disappointment and hurt. At this point, it’s time to seek help.
In the case of increasing disrespect among once loving partners, something must be done quickly. When men become disrespectful, it is very difficult for them to turn around. It’s natural for a man to defend himself to the fullest, without pause, and if his woman gives him reason, he begins to use disgusting language and behavior which is indelible and leaves permanent scars which cannot be erased. When a woman becomes disrespectful, she begins to indulge in destructive behaviors such as seeking other relationships to use in hurting her partner. The worst thing both parties can do is to tell their relatives or mutual friends about the relationship problems. Friends will only encourage them to end the relationship altogether. If the partners manage to work things out, these same friends will hold a bitter grudge that their advice wasn’t taken and they will no longer want to hear any further complaints about the relationship.
Whenever mistrust and disrespect surface in any relationship, the lack of communication undoubtedly follows. The previous open and informative commentary soon becomes labored and angry statements here and there. Neither person is happy so very little conversation is had. At this point, one person taking the initiative to begin talking about true feelings and maybe offering apologies is a great place to begin. Next, if the two of you can agree to see a counselor, it’s good to refrain from speaking until the counseling session, so that you both have time to gather your thoughts for discussion, as well calm down a little in preparation to little.
If it’s not possible to get an agreement for counseling, then an unfortunate measure must be taken and perhaps the relationship must go on a hiatus, or even worse, an end.
What to do when you’re unhappy with marriage and responsibilities
Family responsibilities are a must if you’re married. You decided to make a vow and walk down the isle. You make the ultimate decision for the better or the worst and when it comes to responsibilities many parents are saying that it’s their worst. A lot of people complain and bicker about finance problems when their wives are not working and staying at home to care for the kids. They feel like they have to be responsible for everything now and that they are just another robot going and coming from work. Well, this is the nature of a marriage if you didn’t know too much about it. This is why many church recommend marriage counseling before you enter a marriage to see if you will like it or not or to see how you want to plan out the course of your marriage. Even if you’re going to get married, marriage counseling will help you plan things out so that you might not have to stress yourself over child responsibilities.
Maybe, you might be advised to wait four years into the marriage to have a kid instead of getting pregnant during the engagement time. This is why counseling will help you out. Marriage is not supposed to be a bad thing if you plan everything right and do things at the right time. You’re coming into the marriage with two incomes. If you save up for four years, you might afford for your wife to stay at home for at least two years to care for the new baby. Planning will save you tons of stress. If you end up wanting a divorce after your wife says that she doesn’t want to get back to work then it means that you didn’t plan out your marriage properly. Many people think that a marriage is as simple as dating but it’s far way more complicated then dating. Now you have legal, financial, and children responsibilities that you didn’t have when you were dating. If you were to get a divorce, your wife would get half of the fortune and you have to split the children too. Have you sign a pre-nup yet or you don’t care to have one? Have you thought about losing your children to your other partner if you didn’t have a job to support them? Where would you live if you got a divorce? All of these things comprise of planning. If you don’t plan then you will stress yourself out in the long run.
This is why they make people go to college so they can take classes on planning and learning how to deal with life’s problems. Someone who never went to college and have never had any type of counseling is more likely to suffer from these problems. If you somehow made the mistake of having a kid and now you’re the sole person who’s bringing home the paycheck, you can still get some help. Have you thought about a home business that your wife can work on? Have you thought about government assistance like welfare for kids? If your wife isn’t making any money, she can file for welfare to take care of herself and the child alone. Even though you might work but it’s not enough to take care of three people. You should walk to the welfare office and apply for some assistance. This can help you get through for at least three years or until your wife is able to get back to work. There are plenty of works at home jobs nowadays and even business opportunity. Can your parents or in-laws help out with the bills? If they can, you should allow some of that? Do you have a home that you can rent out some rooms to allow people to pay you rent each month? This will help out too. Anything that you can do to fix your problems at home will help until your wife gets back to work but it’s not a solution to stay at home and live on a one income job though. Have you thought of giving the baby to grandparent or relatives to care for you? There are some child caring program at work too that you can take advantage of. It’s not the end of the world and there are solutions to your unhappiness.